Monday, September 1, 2014

Thrice The Cycle

Forgive me, Glittery Gods, for I have sinned. I've been a dirty, dirty slut and I am not going to deny it. This slut has devoured the cock of a mangagawang Pilipino and it tasted of a hard day's work. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was sweaty. And yes, it was all in my mouth.

Ladies, in bed there is no such thing as being a lady. You better work, twirl and swirl that tongue as you put that guy's cock in your, in his word, bunganga

The Glittery Gods have sprinkled their glitters upon me. It lead me to a commoner whom we call by his profession as tricycle driver. I was just going to buy myself junk food and ice cream from the convenience store, but, little did I know that I would end up with junk cream being shoved down my throat. Oh, it was good. He wanted to penetrate me, but, I'm afraid we did not have condoms and lube.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

According To Him

He said that I haven't written anything in a while. I guess he is right. He asked me why? I guess there's nothing really interesting to write about. He never really gave me his real name. I showed him my company ID. He said that he would rather separate his personal life from the life that he created on the internet. I guess he makes a good point. He mentioned that he has met a lot of other people who created their own personas on the internet just like him, just like me. I wondered if any of those people he has met is someone I know. He seemed shy at first, but once he gets comfortable around you he can be pretty fun. I am lucky that he got comfortable around me.

To the guy who I had dinner with (you know who you are), thank you for letting me into your world. This is for you. Because this is something interesting to write about.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Liar! Scumbag! Asshole!

I hate this game i play. I think that i have the upper hand when in fact, i am on the losing side. I guess you could say that i am fairly new at this game and just like any other newbie of any other game, i have this delusion that i will win. That i am bound to come out victorious with a shiny fuckin' trophy at the end (and by trophy, i mean a dick in my mouth). Me and my fucked up delusions!

As i write this, i have just been recently scammed. Remember Mr. Cutie Cabbie and my mentioning of how he put a price tag on our — well, for lack of a better word — relationship? Well, that son of a gun, motherfuckin' asshole just scammed the shit out of this gay guy's pink fuckin' pocket! This is the stuff that i only read about and see on the news. It actually fuckin' happened to me and i am furious as hell like Naomi Campbell throwing a goddamn cellphone at her assistant. I've been financially challenged as of late and for me to actually shell out the money that i just did means constrained lunch allowance and hell-raiser of a commute. I mean, i'm all for being skinny with no appetite just like a supermodel, but goddammit, if you ask me now what i'll be having for lunch i would actually say, "Air and motherfuckin' disappointment."

What happened you ask? Well, let me just tell you that what happened is stupidity. Complete and utter foolishness of a gay guy who wants nothing more but company. Is this really how it is going to be for us? Guys taking advantage of our loneliness and making us believe that something magical — fairytale like, in fact — will happen. I talk about cocks, dicks, sucking, fucking and all that shit, but really, what i want is just company. I — just like any other homos out there — want a companion. I — just like every romantic movies (gay or straight) we've seen — want someone to be with. I'm not short on friends or anything, but, it's really different to have to go home knowing that someone is waiting and ready to talk about how your day went.

This is a sad reality that i have to face. That i may end up alone. That i am getting old and my market value in the gay world is just like that of a dishwashing sponge – easily replaceable. Yes, this is a lesson learned. But, more of a lesson of my own reality.

Oh, and about Mr. Cutie Cabbie — who i will now refer to as Mr. Scumbag Cabbie — well, i took the Maricar Reyes route in dealing with him. Remember how Maricar Reyes dealt with the whole Hayden Kho scandal before? That's how i will deal with this. I just sent him a long text message and that will be the last of it. I will no longer talk about it. Let alone, acknowledge it ever happening. I just hope that i have a Richard Poon at the end waiting for me just like Maricar's.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Why Put a Price Tag?

Just when i thought something can happen between me and Mr. Cutie Cabbie, he has to put a price tag on it. What do these guys think we are?! An ATM that spews money out of our anus? I mean, just like them we work hard (Work Bitch by Britney Spears playing in the background) for our money. And just like them we have bills to pay and mouths to feed (by mouth, i mean our hungry own for cock, hahaha!). I certainly do not go around town with a sign on my head that says, "I am loaded with cash. You can withdraw from my ass. Just let me suck your cock." Like, what the actual fuck, man?!

The funny (and sad really) thing about all this, is that i am still considering to take the bait and probably — hopefully, not — go for it. Have my life become that pathetic that i am willing to shell out dough just to have one night with Mr. Cutie Cabbie? I understand that this is how things are in our gay world, but, what he is asking for is wayyyyy beyond too much.

I guess i'll have to restrain myself in making hasty decisions. I am, after all, PooRita Avila in so many levels right now. Darn you, cock! Why you gotta be so expensive?!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Game Over, Start Over

This game we're playing has been going on for far too long. I'm growing tired of the mind games and silly flirting between us. Really, i just want to blow you and have your cock in my mouth. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. For Pete's sake, i've been dropping hints here and there to let you know that i fuckin' want you in me. All that's missing is for me to actually drop to knees and start sucking the daylight out of you. Oh well, there's plenty more fish (more like cocks) in the sea.

Speaking of fish (cock, really), i have a new prospective. Okay, so, here i am again assuming that something will happen. I mean, haven't i learned my lesson? Well, i did. So, this time i am more vicious and voracious in getting what i want. This schoolboy slut is hungry for cock and he is about to get a good serving. *mangina crossed*

It was an early Sunday afternoon and i needed to go to the office to finish whatever work i've left for the week because of too much procrastinating. I had to drop by a nearby mall to buy the materials i needed to get the job done. I was too lazy to take the public transpo, so, i opted to take a cab. JACKPOT! The cab driver is cute. I didn't know how to start a conversation with this guy. I couldn't start it with, "You're cute. Can i suck your cock?" I mean, i'm trying to be vicious and voracious, but, that kind of move is just waiting for a punch, kick and headbutt to happen. Thanks to some of the tips i read from FR Central i was able to strike a conversation.

The song playing on his stereo was Taylor Swift's Teardrops On My Guitar. I knew what the song was (i'm gay, so yeah, i would know), but i still asked him what it was. He responded and i said, "Tapos na Valentine's ha" and he laughed. I asked him how his Valentine's was and he said that nothing much happened because he had to drive around the metro with his cab that day. I don't remember much of our conversation during the car-ride because it was just nonsensical. I was just glad that i mustered the courage to talk to him. When i was about to reach my destination, he offered to give me his number and i gladly saved it on my phone. We started texting and i got to know him a little better.

I was in the office for a long time and i ran out of the materials i needed to finish my job. I was so pissed because i was almost done with my work and i didn't want to leave it behind. I texted Mr. Cutie Cabbie (yeah, that's what i'll call him) to ask him out for dinner and he obliged. We met up and we had dinner. I told him about my dilemma and asked him where i could get the materials i needed. It was already 1am and no bookstores would be open at that hour. So instead, we just chatted in his cab and i was making simple moves like touching his thigh and feeling his hand. I noticed a ring and i asked if he is married. He is and he has a kid. *Red alert* 

I surely do not want to be become a mistress (a gay mistress to be exact), but, beggars can't be choosers. I kept a little distance after knowing he was married. He noticed it and suggested that we go somewhere to check if there is any of the materials i need to finish my work in that place. I was a bit doubtful, but, i went along with it anyway. On our way to the place he suggested, i suddenly remember this place that may just have what i needed and asked him to go there instead. Thank the gay gods for it is available in that place. I asked him to drive me back to the office, so, i can finish my work and i was really thankful for his help. We've been texting ever since and i am vehement about telling him that i want him. He seem to respond positively and i hope this goes somewhere.

Well, one game ends, another one begins. I just wish that this one turns out to be a better play.

Monday, January 13, 2014

The Game Continues

I invited the same guy i've been writing about the past couple of months for a few bottles of beer today and i made it  a goal that i shall have him tonight. My mind was set on the goal and the confidence-booster the alcohol gave me helped a lot.

There i was making him laugh and mustering the courage to finally ask him. When we were about to part ways I said, "I don't want to go home just yet." He said that we could stop by a fast-food chain and just chat there for a while. We already ate and i don't think i could have another bite to eat (I just really wanted to bite and eat every part of him). Besides, I might end up puking, what with all the the alcohol intake i had. Then i finally said that i want him. At first he was laughing and he said that we'll get there, but not tonight. I was very persistent. I said that there may not be a next time because we rarely see each other. I kept begging (yes, BEG is the operative word here) and i really felt sorry for myself. I had to swallow my pride hoping that i could swallow his man juice.

In the end, i had to stop begging because i couldn't take it anymore. I never felt so low having to beg. I had to pretend that i was pissed off at him, so while we were walking i stopped and said that he can just go ahead and i'll just wait for a cab. The bastard didn't even make the effort to just wait with me and he just waved goodbye. What the actual fuck, right?! He never even looked back to see if i was able to hail a cab. I was a cheap-class manwhore for the night. He hasn't sent me a message or anything just to at least acknowledge what had happened.

I know i shouldn't be expecting anything in return because we are talking about a straight guy here whose preference will always be a girl with an actual vagina, but he could have at least sent a message saying -- well, i don't know -- "Take care on your way home" or something to that effect. Even after this incident i'm still thinking of dropping by his place of work tomorrow to bring him food. Darn it! I am a cheap-class manwhore! Well, let the game continue. I will have him. That's for sure!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

No Name, No Face

He was born in this world for the purpose of being a man. As a man, he is expected to behave and act according to the rules of society set by people who have long passed this world. These are the people who he doesn't know, but he still follows whatever it is they have said. Sometimes, he doesn't know if he was really told to do so or he is just so used to listening to these people that it became natural for him to be in the constraints of the norm.

The Norm

"What is the norm, anyway?" He's been asking this question ever since he started to see other guys the way he should see girls. When he was in grade school, he was bullied and teased by other kids. "Bakla ka!" they would always say. Some kids would even call his house, his mother would pick up the phone and those kids would then tell his mother that her son is gay. His mother didn't know how to react, so she ended up telling his father. He was so afraid of what his father might think and he knew of the disappointment it caused. "Lumaban ka! 'Pag tinukso ka nilang bakla, pumulot ka ng bato tapos ihampas mo sa bungo nila," his father said when he found out. This is the norm that he grew up with. That a man fights back and never backs down.

Even if this is the case, the bullying never stopped until he finished grade school. During high school, a few things changed. He no longer got bullied and he thought that the only way to get back those times that he was bullied was to be a bully. And so, he became a bully himself. It was fun at first. Walking the hallways the way he would only see in movies, eating at the school cafeteria with sure seats, others clearing the way when he passes by. It felt amazing. He really felt that it was the norm.

Adolescent Years

Just when he thought that he was living the norm, he started to develop feelings for other guys the way he should develop feelings for girls. When he was with his friends, he would talk about girls the way Kevin, Nick, Brian, AJ and Howie talk about girls. He believed that when he gets older, he would end up with a girl and they would live a life that is within the realms of the norm. It's just weird to him though that whenever he talks about such things with one particular guy friend, it doesn't feel right. When it's his guy friend's turn to talk, he would end up staring at his eyes and he noticed that it is not completely black, but becomes a hard shade of brown under the sunlight. He noticed that his guy friend's eyelashes are curled and it looks beautiful whenever he would blink. He looks at his guy friend's hands and wonders how it would feel like to hold it. He then noticed that there is a light scar on his guy friend's neck and wondered how he got it. It was because of these observations that he started to hang out with girls more often than with guys. He knew that something was wrong when he made those observations.

Being a Young Professional

He learned through high school and college to bury those feelings inside him. He buried it so deep that there were times he forgot about. But, just like everything else, it is bound to resurface. Work was his only escape. It is the only place where he doesn't have to worry about such feelings and just focus on the task at hand. Everyone assumes what he really is. He never bothered to say otherwise, unless he was directly asked. "Hindi ako bakla. Tahimik lang talaga ako," he would always say. His actions speak a different language though. He doesn't want people to talk about him, so he decided to detach himself from everyone. There are only a few people that he hangs out with and even they don't know of his true nature. He chose to hang out with them because he knows that they would never talk about his nature and that they respect him for his choice to stay mum.

Now, he's hoping that these people he chose to hang out with would just talk to him about it and maybe then he can finally say, "Bakla ako."

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Cry Me A Fuckin' River

Ouch! That actually hurts!

You may have read from my previous post[s] that I have been eyeing this guy who works at some retail store. We've gone out a couple of times and he knows that I like him. In fact, I made it clear to him that I really, really, really like him to the point that I've become one of those silly-gay-men-who-falls-hard-for-a-straight-guy-that-can-never-be-his that I refused to be. Yes, I am now part of that club.

I know that he is seeing someone right now. I'm not sure though if who he's seeing is another gay man who belongs to the same club as me or a girl. If it was girl then I would totally be fine with it because eventually he will end up choosing a girl. However, if it's another gay man he's going out with then my heart aches like a motherfucker because I cannot compete with a fellow gay man. I know for a fact that whatever I can give, this other gay man can give tenfolds better. I hate feeling this kind of pain. I'm not suppose to feel this way because he never was mine to begin with.

The irrational side of me is taking over. It's like being a brokenhearted teenager again. I can literally feel a pang in my heart whenever I think of him being with another fuckin' gay man. I know I've taught myself to ignore this kind of feeling, but I guess you can never really do that.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

A Game of Pretend

I haven't had any "bookings" for quite some time now because of financial constraints. What I do is just lurk around FRCentral to check the models and plan on who I'll hire once the my finances get a little better. What i've noticed lately though is that there are a lot of forumers sharing stories about models who were victimized by no-show customers. I don't understand why some people take pleasure in doing such things. What kind of sick satisfaction do they get from doing horrible things? I'm thinking that the reason good models are so rare now is because they went through these events. Sad, really.

If you think about it, if models fall prey to such customers then they will learn how to play hard ball (no pun intended). A good model can turn around and say, "If this is how we play in this trade then two can play that game." I can just wish that these things never happen again, but, i know for a fact that i am only fooling myself.

Grow up, BEKIS! If you continue doing things like these then we will lose all the good models out there.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Unattainable Obsession: Paulo Avelino

Who could resist such hotness of the male specimen? I have been drooling for Paulo Avelino ever since he first appeared in a soap opera of ABS-CBN. I was never really a follower of the show, but, whenever i would catch the show i just stare at his beautiful face. A sick obsession as it may sound, i imagine seeing him naked and worshiping his body. I drool, i tell you. Drool, drool, drool.

I swear to the gay gods, if i get the chance to meet this man i will drug him to sleep, take him home and just do nasty things to him. First, i will lay him in my bed and just stare at his face. I will then kiss his lips and savor the moment that i am kissing a god. When i get tired of kissing him, i will start to undress him. Taking my precious time i will take off his shirt and then feel his chest. Kiss, peck, lick and then some. His nipples will not be safe from ravaging. I will then raise his arms and start licking his armpits. I can just imagine how it would smell like. I'll sniff it until i can breathe no more. I then move south and remove his shoes and then his socks. This is my favorite part as a feet-fetishist. I'm going to smell his feet and relish the aroma of a true man's feet. I'll put his toes inside my mouth and lick the bottom part sending electricity to every part of his body. I won't stop until my tongue gets dry from licking. Time to unbutton his pants now and see the surprise in store. His pubes are thick and i can't help but get lost in it. The scent is a mix of sweat and a strong kind of soap. The kind of soap that a true man would use. I'll spread his legs and aim my tongue at his hole and give him a rim job that he can only dream about - until now. The hair surrounding his ass just adds to the intensity. My tongues goes in and out. Let's not forget about his balls. I'll put it in my mouth and feel it as it rolls inside. I will worship every part of his body and make sure that every inch gets explored by my tongue.

Alright, now back to reality.